who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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