mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
