i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize