some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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