I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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