i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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