we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
