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So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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