If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
