Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
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Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
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So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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