so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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