She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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