hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
