Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
