If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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