She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
