I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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