I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize