i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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