Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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