I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
