No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
