Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
