Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
