just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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