Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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