I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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