is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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