Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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