sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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