all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
