I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
