I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize