I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
