hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
