you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
