yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
