girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
