My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
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He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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