Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
