Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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