smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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