i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
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drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME