We're facebook friends in real life
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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