i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
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You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.