I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
