how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.