I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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