I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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