my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
