I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
