oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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