So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
