I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
