Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Let's get the cat blown out
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
