I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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