Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
