Umm I'm too high to move.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
