Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
