Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
