Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
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She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.