...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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