Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
